Hannah Yeung... after reading her comment  "I hvn't felt pretty in a long time : )" i found that she has a xanga, I read her xanga entry and realized she's actually a very deep person. And then I remembered my good ol' xanga days.
So here I am. I think this is good. I will write down my thoughts, put down some pictures of things that have been happening. And 10 years later, or 20 years later, or god forbids 80 years later, when I'm 100, I can come back and see this long web blog book about my life and see my own autobiography and how much I've changed. This is good.

So thank you Hannah Yeung for that inspiration, although you may probably never read this..

I realize it will take me ages to recall all the bloggable moments from the past two years, and I'll probably give up and get bored before I finish 'catching up', so I will start from now.

At this instant, I am on Skype with Josh. Just finished watching The Holiday--attempted to finish that movie 3 times and finally accomplished it just now---

A few things I need to do in the next later while:

Non school related:

• need to call landlord in downtown so that my move in date on nov 1st will go smoothly...(will be living right behind AE on bute and haro. super excited)
• call canadian health care services, they say I owe them 270 dollars, but I shouldn't need to be paying them anything while in school, at least not yet... called them already twice, no one picks up. already waited 40 minutes
• Apply for Canadian Citizenship
• Apply for Korean/ Hong Kong (don't know if I need one for sure yet) Visa, because it'll take longer for the citizenship to get through than the visas
• buy plane ticket to korea, possibly going Dec 11-Jan 3. (finish finals on the 10th, yay! But two finals on 8th, and 2 finals on 10th..boo!)
• organize/clean/throw away/donate/ discover/regulate all the Stuff I have in this house.. it's insane, every time I look for something, i find something new that I've never even knew I had. 
• Call Ernie at Starbucks and tell him when I can work..although he already kind of knows, but he told me to call him, so I will
• Just in case Earnie doesn't pull through, need and must apply for jobs:
  
• ideal jobs:
  
• starbucks
• tutoring
• vancity/ td teller
• waitressing????
• find a place so i can go kickboxing because it sounds and looks very cool and stress relieving
  
• do hot yoga, must finish the 4 more passes for Bikram yoga before dec 31
• rent out a room in the place i'm living in currently otherwise mommy will need to pay a lot.
  

School related:

• Read read read for:
• soci 310-- midterms in 12 days
• soci 217-- midterms on next monday
• poli 260--research paper due in 15 days
• get notes for poli 260 because i haven't been able to get up for that class for the past 4 lectures
• find about/ apply for go global: hoping to go to either korea or somewhere south america
• look for jobs on Arts Coop
  

and that's all for now.

As far as insights on how i'm feeling these days
hmm.. been gloomy. never felt more lonely and depressed in my life , and never been this long...
Angry a little bit with God-- don't feel like turning to Him even though I know He is probably exactly why I've been the way I have been.
I don't really want to do anything these days. With that huge list to tackle, don't know where to start. I've been watching way too many movies. My heart is just not in to school, and I don't now where my heart is really...feeling pathetic.. I don't like myself right now.

-----

it's been a long time.
update for myself.. possibly in the future.
rightnow as of aug 5
I have 3 jobs
Tala Florist
- got screamed today by my boss while in the process of putting cleaned roses in a used bucket.
    - he took the roses from me and threw them hard on the table
- for the first time in my life, someone besides my father threw something down by anger aggravated by me.
- told boss i'll quit 1 week after i come back from langley, so  my last day would be next next sat, aug 18.
-however over all the job at the flower shop is somewhat pleasant, and the owners are nice for the most part.
Marble Slab Creamery
- kind owners but just too much of  a job for me
- night shifts until 1, so i don't get home until 2:30 (night buses are scarce)
- i think injured my wrists because of this job, scooping up ice-cream is quite a difficult task actually
-throat also raspy because of this job, i think it's because i have to explain so many times how the ordering process worked.
-and just to clarify, marble slab is very much like cold stone's in the states, except marble slab started first. cold stone copied marble slab-they apparently went to court for this.
Black's Photography
-love it
-so chill
-just sometimes feel guilty because i still don't know much about SLR's/lenses/flash, so it's hard for me to sale those products which give big money.. but oh well..

looking for an apt currently to move into for universit. Also my mom and I have to move out of htis apt anyways by the end of this month.. landlord doesn't like us.

right now i'm working so much b/c i'm in debt with my credit card, also i want to save money for uni, although it seems impossible right now that i'll save anything..

looking for work study jobs at ubc, also looking for maybe a bank job.

Many close friends have gone back to China/ or gone to traveling/ boot camp (as in Yumi's case), so it's been a bit lonely.

Mom and dad case... dad lost, mom won. Dad has to pay spousal, but i think they're still in court right now.

Maybe i'll be able to go back to china this winter, but either way, i'll definitely drop by cali again.


<3
going to bed now.
excited about langley, my first and last SST!! whoohoo

I haven't posted a lot this year. And this year went by just as quick as reading these few posts. I'm glad I've done it, although I was about to die when I was doing it. Thank God for pulling me through.

<3